Family

So, last week Friday through Sunday my family and I headed up north - say ya to da U.P eh? - to visit relatives. Both of my parents are from Upper Michigan, but I myself was born in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. We all stayed at my Grandparent's house but visited my Aunt and Uncle and cousins on my Mom's side.

While staying at my Grandparent's my Mom and I planted tons of flowers in the beds and window boxes my Grandpa had put up. For a person who was in no way born with a green thumb - but ironically with a perpetual love for flowers - it was a challenge at best. But the end result and the look on my Grandma's face when she saw them was well worth it. It was also enjoyable to pick out the flowers. Albeit I was inevitably drawn to all the red ones. :)

I was hoping we could've stayed for more than just three days. The last time we had all gone up there was last July during the 4th. Between that time and our last visit my Grandmother had developed Alzheimer's disease. It was a blow to my family, especially my Dad because she's his mother. But in turn it wasn't all that unexpected, she's 80. Last year in October my Dad's brother had passed away after a brief fight with cancer. In a hospital in Upper Michigan my Grandparents, my family and my Dad's sister had all gathered around and watched him fade away, holding on for much longer than we had previously thought. My Uncle had always been effortlessly humorous and so much different than my Dad I marveled at how they were related. He also had a peculiar way of talking that I know I'll never run into again.

During that same year in January my Mom's sister passed away after a longer battle with cancer. She too was the humorous one in the family, always ready with a joke. Sometimes I still can't believe both of them are gone. It was one of those things where you thought you'd never lose them, then you wake up one day and they are. Leaving you with unwritten pages, unspoken words and a million questions to scribble into those blank pages.

Despite the nostalgic and sometimes burdening task of clearing out my Uncle's house of my Aunt's things with my Mom while up there, I found buried amongst the pain and lingering hurt were the sweet memories and hidden pleasures like forgotten candy at the bottom of a purse. My Mom ended up dividing the belongings in my Aunt's old bedroom between herself and her remaining sister who lives just down the street.

Which brings me to another point. After coming back later on in the night for the basket of my Aunt's things my Mom had collected we all went over to my other Aunt's house, where my Mom visited with her sister and I caught up with my cousins. Even if I didn't really converse with any of them, I still enjoyed their company and finally seeing them again. I hadn't realized how much I missed all of them until I was there, talking and laughing until time crept by and it was time to leave. There are a lot of 'talkers' in my family, on both sides. I can truthfully say that I in no way inherited that 'talking' gene. Except on my blogs and in my stories! :)

Before we had left my Aunt's house one of my cousins called and asked if my family and I would like to come to her apartment. She and a few of my other cousins were there as well. My family and I stayed until midnight, talking with cousins I hadn't seen in literally years. It was refreshing to catch up news and get to know them all over again.

If there is a 'talker' streak throughout my family, there is also a 'humor' streak as well. I have an Uncle, my Mom's brother, who has a tendency to flare up in anger and yell at people. While at the apartment, one my cousins imitated him. It was spot on and had us all rolling in laughter. There is also an Aunt and Uncle on my Mom's side that he imitated as well. Those too were spot on. Soon everyone was swapping stories and sharing laughs. Some of them happened before I was born. Other's involved my Mom's father, who died a year before I born. Some involved stupidity, some involved tricks and gullibilty, still other's involved that of my Aunt who had passed away and the endless humor she supplied us all with. Listening to these stories I realized how each family has their own set of 'stories'. That one relative that was stranger than the rest - like my Uncle, and those that were remembered for certain things and those that carry that legacy. There's the humorous cousin, the quirky Grandma, the cantankerous Uncle, the fussy Aunt...and everyone in between.

Being from Upper Michigan my relatives are invariably populated with 'yoopers'. That in itself is something that sets them all apart from my relatives in Sheboygan! While visiting with my cousins in the small apartment, sitting with them at my Aunt's house, laughing with my Grandparents and walking with my Grandma I realized that my family and I have something no one else has. Family stories, routines of life, relationships and experiences. Each of these things is different for each family, and they are undoubtedly treasured differently as well. I keep drawing back to my time with my four cousins at their apartment because I hadn't seen all of them in a while and I realized just how 'special' per se, our stories and laughter was. It was something that belonged only to us, something only we could find true humor and meaning in. If a stranger had walked in on us they would have been lost or flabbergasted, unable to understand what we were saying or laughing about. The same would go for any family. What makes complete sense to us, could be a total blank sheet of paper to someone else. And that's what makes family special, the unseen bonds and stories that are like a one-way mirror. Only understood from the inside, from those who experienced it or had it passed down to them.

That night when I had finally fell into bed the time spent with my cousins, both at the apartment and at my Aunt's house spun through my mind like another track added to the tape which I could slide into the deck marked 'family' and replay anytime I wanted to. Turning the dial back to yet another moment spent in laughter, reminiscing and nostalgia.

The days spent with my Grandparent's were memorable as well. I got to walk with my Grandma and help plant flowers for her to enjoy. I also visited my Uncle's grave where my Grandpa explained the burial site and pointed out pre-destined plots for Grandma and himself. Also in all simplicity, I also got to enjoy Ispheming and Negaunee, where my relatives live and realize just how deeply rooted and broadly embedded my parent's lives are in Upper Michigan.

Albeit I wished the bulk of my relatives weren't a state away, I realize that the U.P helps define not only who they are, but their way of life as well. Anticipating what awaits me at the end of the five hour journey from Sheboygan to Ispheming is enough to break up the monotony of thick pines, seemingly endless two-lane highways and unpopulated stretches of flat, barren land.
If you're ever traveling to Upper Michigan, just remember...say ya to da U.P eh?