Misbehavin'

We've all been there, some indirectly, and some directly. Whether it's in the grocery store, stuck in a traffic jam, on a endless road trip to see relatives, in a clothing store, at a favorite restaurant, at the gas station...

Point is, it can happen anywhere! No matter where you are, although there are places where it's more prone to occur than others. So...you may be asking yourself. Just what am I talking about?

Misbehaving children.

Being 19, I obviously don't have any kids of my own. But I've been in more than one situation when I've seen kids act out in violent and erratic ways. Instantly I feel embarrassed for the parents, who not only have to deal with their unruly children but also the smoldering and prying looks of passersby. Other times, yes, I'll admit, I get a little vexed. I mean, who can stand the hollowing, whining, constant prodding and screams of petulant children? Perhaps it because I'm not a parent, or because I've always held zero patience for things like that but...I simply can't see how anyone can talk to their children when their in "tantrum mode." Never mind keep their cool amidst huge crowds like Wal-Mart or a clothing store.

For instance, take the popular television series Supper Nanny. Since finding out I got the Style Network with basic cable I've been watching the show off and on. Let me tell you, it makes me shudder every time. Seeing those kids act out in such disturbing ways.

As I've learned from the show, often times the children's erratic behavior isn't always misplaced. Sometimes there's a reason behind it. Like the daughter on one episode who kept acting out in dangerous and violent ways was simply trying to get her mother's attention. But the mother, being a single parent and having four other sons and a house to look after, while going to school part time and working...well, you can see where this is going right? She didn't have enough one-on-one time for her and her daughter. Therefore the daughter felt deprived and acted out to get the attention she craved.

There's one of perhaps the most fundamental "root" problem of disobedient children. Fractured families. In today's world, not just in America, divorce rates keep climbing. It's a sad reality. Often times the burden of the household and children fall on a single parent, instead of two to share the load. Like God had intended in the beginning when he talked about marriage in the bible. Just like the scenario on Super Nanny the mother simply couldn't handle - or juggle - all of those responsibilities effectively and inadvertently cut out one of her children. But it wasn't just the daughter who suffered. Her sons did as well. They too acted out, though their actions were a result of no supervision. We all know what can happen to children when they aren't properly supervised.

All of this is simply what I gleaned, per se, about the world around me. As I've said before, being a detail-oriented person and a writer, I am invariably watching closely the world around me. This is something that I've been wanting to write about for a long time. Hopefully what I'm writing isn't merely opinion and gleanings but is relateable to both people my age, and people of all other ages as well.

With that said, let's get back to where unruly kids can be found. One of the places I've found they are in high concentration, per se, is the library that I'm working at for the summer. Now you may be saying, well of course! It's a library! They have kid's reading and summer programs and such, and you'd be right. But still, now that I work there, I'm beginning to realize that...the library isn't so quiet! At least, not all the time.

Take this one moment for instance. I was on the first floor shelf reading the Spanish collection when two young boys - brother's I'm assuming - jump out of the elevator and yell something unintelligible at the top of their lungs. Needless to say I started, turning around to see what was going on. Everyone else in the library did the same. Then the boys' mother came out, a mortified look on her face. Instantly she reprimanded them, whispering in firm tones. Within a matter of a minute everyone else went back to what they were doing. Serenity restored once again.

On another separate occasion I was again on the first floor when a heard a high pitched wailing come from the second all the way to the first floor. When the elevator doors opened a father walked out with his young son and daughter. The daughter was the source of the wailing. She continued to do so all the way to the front entrance doors.

What makes kids act so boldly and out of line in public? How can parents keep a calm facade and peaceful, patient demeanor when their children are blatantly acting out? Are different personalities more prone to acts of disobedience? Are they ways to completely eradicate it?

Most of these questions, I'm noticing, have to deal with the psychological side of this problem. Which is something that, although I'm interested in, I haven't yet dabbled in it. Although I'll admit, my interest in psychology doesn't stem from this, but from my interest in creating more complex and realistic characters in my short stories!

Perhaps for a moment I'll take it back to Super Nanny. Obviously the show's main character on which it's based upon, whom I simply know as Jo, must deal with hundreds of unruly children. How does she do it? On the show you see her walk into a home thrown on its side by chaos, haphazard lifestyles, often fractured families and flimsy structures. Then you see the parents, who look so thinly stretched, worn out and stressed that if one of their children even thought about throwing a tantrum, they would splinter into a thousand pieces. Seeing families like that, in the beginning of each episode, I often wonder how they could've gotten to a point so low? More importantly, how could they even call themselves a family? When all I see are biting, snapping, sharp words on sharper tongues, hitting, pouting, tantrums and everything in between?

This again, brings me back to the state of the American family as it stands today. It's a sad picture I might add. I could also bring in another blog post I recently wrote entitled "How Many Hours Do You Need In A Day?" which focused on the unnecessary over cluttering of our lives. The inexplicable urge to keep up with the Jones' and enroll your children in every little league sport there is, every after school activity, every summer program, every musical class there is...and so on, and so on. Why I ask? Why do parents feel this ludicrous urge to either push, encourage their children to join anything and everything? Whatever happened to enjoying the summer for what it is? Instead of flute practice one day, piano lessons the next, little league baseball one day, school soccer practice the next?

Now, you might say, because I was never enrolled in any sports, music classes, school related activities or summer activities...that I would therefore be biased against those that are. To a degree, you'd be right. But it's no secret that today's American family is far too busy for what it natural. I'll admit, I like being busy, whether I'm at work or at home. But only because it keeps me moving, gives me energy, a sense of purpose, drive and gives interest to my day. But there a huge difference between being busy and enjoying what you are doing because of it, and being busy because you feel somehow that you need to be busy and therefore try to squeeze everything into a day. There is also a difference between being busy because it makes you happy and gives you a sense of purpose and meaning to the day - like me - and being busy simply because that's just the pace of life and everyone else it doing it, so instead of feeling energized and adding purpose to your day...you're inadvertently draining it dry. Leaving you empty and gasping for breath by the time you hit the pillow.

Obviously, I've gone all across the board on this post. But that's just how my brain works! As I've said before, I'm a free handed writer and write whatever comes to me on the paper. In other words, I think on paper, instead of out loud!

Whatever the reason for kids acting out in public I applaud any parent who keeps their dignity and cool in such situations. Although I've never been witness to it, I've heard many stories of perturbed parents who simply yell at and slap their petulant children until they're quiet, instead of getting down to their eye level and talking calmly but firm to them. Such situations of the parents losing their cool do not help the children at all. It breaks my heart just thinking about it. For outside of that incident, I'm sure that child would be smiling and happy, just like every other kid you see. It's undoubtedly a hard line to straddle when your child is acting out. That much I understand. Often times I've reflected the questions listed in this post upon myself. How would I react in such situations? Albeit I have inklings, I can't give a clear answer. I don't have much patience when it comes to unruly children, but yet I inexplicably feel embarrassed for any parent who's children who act out. It draws unwanted attention and invariably throws crass and hasty judgements on said parents. There are perhaps thousands of ways to react in such situations. The question is, will you choose the right one?