The shirt that still fits

Ah yes, if I can't think of something to blog about every Wednesday you can be assured I'll think of some obscure, metaphorical title. After all, that's half the fun of blogging isn't it? Not only thinking about something to post, but also conjuring up an interesting title to pop up in your follower's blog reel and make them tilt their head and think "what?"

Well anyway, I believe that was just a rambling of sorts to stall the inevitable explanation behind said peculiar title. Why do I have to stall, you ask? Well, because sometimes I come prepared with a blog idea already neatly written out - somewhat mind you - stacked, stapled and ready to thumb through while other times - okay, most times - i end up just sitting here in front of my laptop, that ever-blinking cursor like tapping fingers on a desk edge, until random dog-eared pages fall into my lap, or onto the floor, or all around me. And I catch a snippet of something, of an idea, of a sentence, of a strange title, and my mind, seeing all these confetti-like sheets of paper fanned out around me, starts skipping across the sagging floorboards layering the narrow hallways weaving in and out of the labyrinth of filing cabinets in my mind. Pulling a few sheets from one, a whole stack from another. Most of them aren't labeled, but it finds them easily enough, and what am I left with? A sheath of haphazardly stacked pages with curiously connected letters resembling sloppy, new-age cursive acting as my outline.

Such is the reason behind today's blog post title. I was sitting here, on yet another Wednesday - already March! :) - when suddenly my mind sprung forward, snatched a corner of a sheet that was probably sticking out of one of those overstuffed cabinets in the back labeled 'miscellaneous' and let it slip through the floorboards, where it sits now, somewhat translating to my blog. The last few blog posts, you see, I've been focusing on music. And granted last week's was on old houses, I'm turning once again to music, and the peculiarity of YouTube and it's ability to suck me back into the music I listened to as a middle schooler and early high school student.

I can't remember exactly when I gave away all of my Jump5 albums, but it was definitely a defining moment for me. Did I feel any more mature afterwards? Did I immediately start rocking out to Journey and Pat Benetar like I do now? No to both questions. The thing is, even after giving away my Jump5 collection, I still loved their music. But it wasn't in a 'listen to every day' kind of way anymore. It was more of the way one views the scenic countryside from an airplane window or a helicopter. At one time - back in middle and early high school - I was skipping through those swaying, patchwork fields, and feeling the wildflowers fling their scent gaily in my direction as they bent with the satin wind.

But now, I'm like that passenger staring down at the countryside unmarred by a film of clouds. Those same patchwork fields and heady scented wildflowers are now golden and multi-colored squares sewn by man and time into the shifting skin of the earth. No longer do I purposely fling myself into their depths, but view their beauty and meaning from afar, still feeling that tug somewhere inside me.

Then along came YouTube, and whether I purposely set foot in said fields of wheat and wildflowers, I didn't even have to cross the threshold and there they were, literally folding over it, filling my room with their equally organic and perfumed scents, drawing me back, even as I stay planted amidst my steadily humming glass globe of Journey, Pat Benatar, Heart and Peter Cetera. How did these fields come to inch across my threshold of newly discovered music? And more importantly, why am I not closing the door?

One reason is, to go back to the whole airplane metaphor, even when I had distanced myself from those fields - Jump5's music - I still a place in my memory for its importance. Like traveling far away from your family's home, to attend college, or start a new job. There could be hundreds, even thousands of miles between you and them and yet you feel that tug, those fields whispering in the back of your mind, tumbling down your own narrow corridors, slipping between the cracks, raining down on you in your sleep, or when you lean back in your chair, taking a few minutes to travel back to that threshold, and step gently over, embracing the memories that live there.

So with that said, even though I have sold all of my Jump5 albums, and will probably never own them again - perhaps I'll end up selling all of my albums now that I think about, after all I primarily use my iPod and the speakers I can attach it to - I still find myself hunting down that threshold amidst the ever-expanding walls and room of the mansion I call my music tastes. And perhaps another reason why I will never forget - or abandon - Jump5 entirely is because of the fact that most of their music came out in the early 2000's, which - being so close to the 90's and all - is another era of music I place gingerly behind the most elegant built-in, lead diamond mullioned hutch in my mansion, where - like my iPod, at least I hope - it can be sheltered from the tumultuous, free-for-all music industry that is currently lapping at the freshly painted clapboards of my mansion, itching for a way in.

Okay, I promise I'll halt the old house metaphors and stop confusing those of you who are wondering why I am comparing my music tastes to an expanding, historical mansion. That's a metaphor that goes back to the beginning of my days on Pandora, which is a long story, so I'll just move on! There was a time when I thought I loved every Jump5 song that ever came out, and perhaps then, and more so today, I realize that could never possibly be true.

Honestly, there were some songs they produced that - to me at least - were just awful, and don't get me started on their last album, which of course I was so excited for. Only to find out they had completely changed their style and sound and Hello & Goodbye ended up collecting dust on my bookshelf, while I turned to their older albums for solace. Why you ask, if I claim not to listen to them anymore, am I bringing such a fact up? The truth is, I have no idea, I guess it still annoys me! But at any rate, Jump5 did have some amazing songs, and more than one has managed to stick in my mind like a persistent sticky note clinging to the haphazard surface of a fridge amidst the children's scrawled masterpieces and the constant shifting of bodies back and forth against it.

One of those songs, if I may temporarily admit my obsession with what was termed as - and might still be? - bubblegum pop, was their song All I Can Do. Now I know most of my readers probably haven't listened to Jump5, or maybe never even heard of them. But trust me when I say this: that song alone literally dominated the soundtrack to my middle school years. Think of a stubborn tape stuck in your old car's tape deck, and every time you start up the car it starts playing a certain song, over and over again. Before you even turn the key in the ignition you know it's going to start playing, and you groan inwardly, or perhaps curse. But eventually, when enough hours have spun by beneath your wheels and the wind has danced on your shoulders and face, you find yourself singing along, not minding its constant repetition, like a carousel ride that keeps going around and around, the same scenery somehow becoming new, all of the horses changing colors, prancing beneath you.

Well, that rambling string of metaphors was kind of like what that song did to my head back in middle school. How my parents - and not to mention my CD player - handled it's constant repeat is beyond me. A couple months ago I favorited the music video for All I Can Do on my YouTube channel, 'just for the heck of it' I thought, and I preceded to listen to it. Again, and again. Now granted, this isn't an every day occurrence but I guess the point I'm trying to make - and ironically having to shove my own thoughts out of the way to do it - is that the possibility for that obsession is still there, those fields are right outside my door, waiting for me to slip between their swaying depths, and dive deep.

Am I saying I'll go back to listening to Jump5? Definitely not! But a certain fellow blogger of mine who says she works out while listening to Jump5 has led me to wonder if I shouldn't download a few of their songs onto my iPod while I work out just to give me some different pumped-up music to listen to than Def Leppard, Heart and Bryan Adams. Albeit granted, I know I wouldn't restrict myself to only listening to them while working out. After all, when they played such an important role musically in my middle and early high school years, how could I not turn back to them occasionally? And along those lines, in my blog post entitled Break out the bubbly every once in a while I crave that sweet, tantalizing festive pop of that bubbly, sugary and addictively sweet music tumbling down my throat, and refreshing my mind. Sure most of the songs are full of meaningless lyrics like candy is full of meaningless calories, but that doesn't matter. Jump5 made wholesome and non-offensive music that I still appreciate today.

And the whole 'sugar comment' isn't to say that all of their songs were like All I Can Do, or the whole album for that matter, a lot of their songs had substantial meaning, and an important message to convey, and I appreciate that as well. So, with all of that said, I still feel like I haven't effectively explained the title of today's blog post. Well, here it is then. I thought about my recent habit of favoriting Jump5 songs on YouTube and adding them to my channel and then that got me thinking about the whole idea of how I thought I had 'outgrown the Jump5 shirt' only to find it crumpled and just a bit neglected on the floor of my closet, tried it on out of pure curiosity - the death of all, right? - and found *gasp!* that it still fit! Hence, today's blog post title. Ta da! And please, no comments on how it took me until the very end of today's post to explain it. At least I managed to out run my thoughts and actually say something on my own for a change, right? :)