Another Reason To Avoid Commericals

You know the feeling, you're watching your favorite show or television program and then...the commericals come on. Everyone gets up simultaneously and its time to get a refill, that crinkly chip bag that instantly earns you frowns and a finger over lips every time you open it or a trip to the ol' bathroom.

No one watches commerials, and if we do it's only for a handful of reasons. Either we're too lazy or comfy to get up, we have a blessed mute button or...we actually enjoy them! Like during the Super Bowl for instance. And the whole point of commerical is to get us to buy stuff. I can tell you right now, it rarely works on me. I'm more likely to buy something when an ad is in my email inbox, or in a magazine. It seems more personal that way, where commericals are just attempting to throw a broad net over the entire public watching television, and you just happened to be within the vicinity.

But, I didn't log into my account just to talk about commericals. Because truthfully, that would really boring. But what I am going to talk about is one commerical in particular. It was discussed fleetingly in my American Literature class what seems like ages ago, and also foreshadowed in the last post I wrote! In case you can't remember what I was referring to a week ago, here it is. Although I couldn't tell you how the topic came up, my fellow students and professor began talking about a certain Sears ad that portrays a completely clueless father staring slack-jawed at the fridge, unable to cook a meal for his children or even function in the slightest without his wife around. Then - presto! - she comes in and takes control of the situation. Dad switches back to functioning mode and all is well.

Now I obviously take a strong stance on that commerical, though I've never seen it. And honestly? The only place I can talk fully about it and truly show my opinion is in the written word. You won't see me arguing with my classmates or professor and defending my position. Why? Because it's not my personality. Usually with debates I'll just sit back in my chair and let my gaze travel to whoever is speaking, soaking it all in...or not. I have a habit of drawing abstract flowers on loose leaf paper when I'm bored. Though they say when you doodle, you actually listen better. So hey, maybe it's not so bad after all!

Okay, I can feel the wheels of my train of thought derailing just a bit here, so I'll leave the wandering tendencies of my mind for another day. Of course, it's not just in that sense that my mind wanders. Hell, this blog is proof of that! Every post is just a stream of conscious thing, where my fingers are doing the thinking and my mind is just sitting there, constantly feeding a strip of paper through. So in reality there are actually many ways in which my mind can wander, will I ever be able to tie that frayed rope to a dock? Or will the ship forever whip across the storm-tossed seas?

All right, I'm going back to the topic for real now. I don't know if anyone reading this particular blog post has ever seen that Sears commerci. I hadn't even known about it until it was discussed in my class. Of course, I remember something similar to it but can't be sure if it was the same one. But regardless of whether you've seen it or not, what I'm more interested in is your reaction. How many of you, after viewing the commerical or reading my description, had this look upon your face where confusion and incredulousnss pokes and rudely pushes your face at odd angles? I know I sure did. Since when were dad's viewed as the clueless one's in the family?

Now obviously they're the main caregivers in a family are meant to be the leaders, and although that's not the case with every family I understand, it's the basic outline that builds the house of what is considered the traditional family. But honestly, do mom's pull that much of the weight that father's are virtual strangers to - gasp! - the kitchen and preparing a meal for their children? If that's true that all guys when they bought their first apartment in college and before they were married, didn't know how to cook for themselves, couldn't clean up after themselves, always had dirty laundry everywhere and was never cleanshaven.

That's the typical stereotype of a young, unmarried guy isn't it? Why? Because he doesn't have a woman to pick up after and take care of him. It's the same scenario, only minus the children! What's to blame for such strong mental images and stereotypes? A finger could be pointed at the media, as with many things. There are plenty of movies out there where children and adults alike get huge kicks of out dad's portrayed as the clueless parent and then mom steps in complete with a glory-hallelujah chorus and everyone practically bowing at her feet and - viola! - she saves the day. Dinner's on the table, dad is saved from a panic attack, and the house is in order.

Unfortunately it's true for some guys that they literally couldn't function without a woman hovering over them, and I don't take pity on them. Because they're not helping these pre-determined judgements, and also its showing something deeper here. Whenever I think of commericals like the one Sears is apparently running or has run, I think of the dad as simply that part of the family that brings home the money, and that's as far as it goes. Like letting a wet dog as far in the house as the mud room, then closing the door. The father seems blatantly removed from the rest of the family, as if it's the mother's sole job to care for the kids and house. The dad is just the final puzzle piece to polish off the picture, so the frame will fit snugly around it. That may be a cynical way of looking at it, but to be honest, my cynical side comes out at times like this. Why can't the father be portrayed as coming home from work, loosening his tie, greeting his children and casually scanning the fridge, asking the kids what they want, then pre-heating the oven, popping something in and when the wife arrives offer her to finish it up?

I understand that most fathers get home later than the mother, and a lot of mothers are stay at home moms but that's no excuse for scenarios portrayed in media worldwide. I don't know much about the statistics but I believe the number of stay-at-home dad's has increased over the past few years. Whether it's due in part to the declining economy I can't be sure, but it's definitely an interesting shift in the supposed roles of fathers and mothers as put forth in the media. Now the mother is the one arriving home late, leaving the father to start dinner and take care of the children. Even with this reversal of roles I can assure you we the public won't be seeing a second Sears commercial whre the mother is the clueless one and dad comes in to rescue her from the horror of the fridge and freezer. It's just too bizarre to think of such a thing isn't it? We can't wrap our minds around something like that. And why is that? It all goes back to the media's viewpoint and that nifty way they have of plastering such viewpoints and stereotypes upon every moving screen and surface until we somehow accept that as truth and see nothing wrong with it.

Maybe guys brought it on partly themselves, I don't know. It may go back to the stereotype of the typical young, single college student living amidst the filth at the bottom of his grimy coffeepot where day-old burnt coffee hardens and crusts over like a knotted scab. Or take a fairly new country song entitled Beer On The Table by Josh Thompson. The chorus goes as so: "Gas in my truck, butter on my biscuit, couple bucks when I'm itchin' for scratch off ticket, that broker makes me broker every Saturday night (not sure of that line), but I still got running water and they cut off the lights, come Friday night my friend's and I start peeling off them labels, working hard all week, put some beer on the table."

I apologize for the length of that but, obviously Thompson wanted to put a spin on the whole idea of working all week to put some food on the table, versus beer. And this song goes back to the stereotypical college student, or not necessarily college student but just your typical young guy in general. Perhaps society carries these notions over into the male gender's adulthood and automatically assume that because they didn't deal with the particulars of life or any grooming habits or cleaning that they wouldn't worry themselves with where they're families were concerned. They'd leave the kids, the cleaning, the cooking, the general day-to-day nuisances to the wife, and just focus on their job and keeping the belt around the family's waist nice and snug. It may be true of some guys who work so hard at their jobs that they are virtual strangers to their families, but it wasn't intended to be that way was it? I believe that most fathers can handle the wife not being there just fine, whether it's for a few hours, a day, a week or hell, even a month!

Take this for example, although it could just contradict what I just said. Every year my church holds their annual woman's retreat, where all the woman of the church travel to a lodge of some sort for a few weeks in order to worship with one another and enjoy each other's company. My mom told me that some of the fathers, before their wife's departed, jokingly told others that they would have a hard time getting themselves out of bed, never mind get the kids ready, without their wives there. I mean, really? Are you that dependant on your wife that you can't get yourself and your children ready? Granted, it's never an easy job. Kids are notorious for clinging to their beds in the morning like a lead balloon to the ground but honestly, again I have no sympathy. If mothers can usher the children up and into the shower, who's to say the father can't?

Of course, people can argue that what I have to say isn't credible because I myself have yet to be in such a situation, and on some level your right. I'm only taking from my own opinion and gleenings, but I'm positive that many other people not only reading my blog but just viewing the commercial others like it will feel the same way I do. I didn't expect to write this much on this topic, seeing as how I have zero relation to it. Where my own father is concerned, he definitely does not fall into the category of the pathetic father Sears portrayed. He cooks very frequently and likes to experiment with different things, he has no trouble getting my brother up in the morning and in the shower (I get up on my own, I cannot stand people nagging me to wake up!) and he can most surely stand on his own two feet without my mom having to rush to his side complete with red and blue lights flashing.

I don't know if you know a father like the one portrayed in the Sears commercial if you do, he needs a serious wake-up call. In my belief, there is no excuse for fathers all around the world to be helpless without their wives. Sure, each are a vital part to the structure of any family, but the family as a whole is a house. If you take out a window, the house can still function, whereas if you take off the roof, then you've got a problem. A father being left alone with his children to prepare dinner is that one window being taken out, an easy fix. Anyone who view it as the roof being taken off...needs to take a look at their priorities and how they arrived at their clueless state to begin with.